


responsibility

by cyandlne



Category: Tales of Graces
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyandlne/pseuds/cyandlne
Summary: Hubert and Cheria have a long awaited conversation.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	responsibility

“You’re still up?”

Cheria turns her head quickly, her curls following only a moment after. Hubert stands behind her, outside the door of the inn. His arms are folded, in what looks to be an almost admonishing manner, but it’s just the cold of the night. She wonders what he’s doing there, then figures he’s doing just the same.

“Oh, um, hi.” She offers him a sort of smile. “Yeah, I just...I was having trouble getting to sleep.”

“I know what you mean.” Hubert approaches her slowly and delicately, as if he was trying to befriend a baby animal, and leans on the railing, mirroring her. The snow has lessened to a flurry and the wind is almost completely gone, leaving a heavy stillness in the air. “Today was certainly...a lot.”

“That’s a good way to put it,” Cheria heaves out, then turns back to look at the cityscape. Zahvert was typically bustling during the day. The stomps of people’s feet on the snow as they scurry from one cold, hard building to another wasn’t exactly ideal, but it was much better than the complete and eerie silence of nighttime. Even in Lhant’s sleepiness there was still the hum of bugs and the whispers of a gentle breeze. She wasn’t used to such an emptiness.

“I can’t -“ Hubert pauses, then sighs. “I feel it’s irresponsible to open the door to reflecting on what we’ve experienced. Asbel dwells and sulks, causing Sophie to do the same and it just...impedes our progress.” Cheria looks and sees Hubert’s looking away from her. “But...Asbel’s not here. So...” He turns to her; there’s a brief moment of eye contact, something so tangible and real and it’s as if he’s screaming “I’m here, I understand, I’ve been seeing you this whole time” and Hubert seems to notice it too, but it intimidates him and he looks to the floor.

“I didn’t...feel right today. None of it felt right.” Cheria decides to take the bait. She feels there’s no one else who can understand her feelings on this right now, and she can’t just push it down. “Pascal looked so...serious. And there was this real sadness on Sophie’s face right before we saw Richard - and then that whole -“ Cheria feels her eyes begin to burn and she heels herself. She takes a gulp, then exhales. She watches as her breath dissipates into the air in front of her, groggy and dull. “The worst was Captain Malik.”

Cheria’s been focusing on one snowflake at a time, just to keep herself grounded, but she peaks to her right and sees Hubert looking right at her, and he has this look on his face. He’s listening. Intently. She feels like she did when they were kids, she senses that kind, emotional soul behind that cold demeanor and sharp tongue. So she continues.

“Right when Kurt collapsed, he looked right into my eyes and there was just this - this urgency - and I know he didn’t _mean_ it that way but it almost looked like -“

“Like he thought you hadn’t done enough.” Hubert catches her sentence as she begins to weep.

“I was doing everything I could to keep him breathing, but he wasn’t - there really wasn’t a chance after what happened to him...” She chokes out a few words between sobs.

“I know. We all do. Especially Malik. He just...had hoped more could be done. It’s not your fault that wasn’t the case,” Cheria can’t see through her tears, but hears Hubert step closer to her. “You ought to be proud of yourself. Your healing artes kept Kurt alive long enough to provide Malik and Pascal with some closure. Most people can’t say the same.”

“I...” She sniffs. “I know. I just...a part of me thought I could do it. I _hoped_ I could. And it just broke me to see Malik clinging to that same hope after I had already let it go. It felt...wrong. I felt so disgusted with myself, to let Captain Malik keep hoping after I had stopped, you know? He’s so...reasonable...and if he still thinks it’s worth a shot, then who am I to throw in the towel early...”

“Cheria...” Hubert places a hand on her upper back. “There’s nothing to feel guilty over. Malik let himself be consumed by a false reality, as a means of self preservation. You don’t need to feel bad for facing the truth before he did.”

“He...knows, right? He knows I did all I could for Kurt, and that every healing arte in the book couldn’t have saved him?” Cheria looks to Hubert again.

“He does. He might not realize it right now, but he does,” Hubert begins to run his hand up and down her back in a gentle, soothing manner. It’s the closest he’s been to Cheria since their reunion, and she takes notice. “I think he thinks very highly of you. If you couldn’t do it, he knows no one else could have.” For the first time all day, Hubert smiles. Cheria leans her head into his chest and he wraps his hand around her shoulder. There’s nothing romantic or exciting about the gesture, it’s simply Hubert’s way of saying something he’d never admit in words - “I’ll always be here for you.” It’s intimate and tender and Cheria knows Hubert had to work hard to allow himself to do it. He pauses for a moment. “Things will get better. Grieving takes time.”

“I’m sorry...” She feels stable enough to remove herself from the embrace, but she doesn’t want to. “You probably see stuff like this in the military all the time. You must think I’m such a softie.”

“Cheria, please,” Hubert chides. “There’s absolutely no shame in understanding the full severity of death. And don’t discredit yourself, as I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share in the relief work.”

“The point of the relief work is specifically not see people die. Right?” Cheria lets out a nervous laugh, and she hears Hubert exhale in what seems like a chuckle.

“...It doesn’t get easier.” Hubert concedes. “I do see it often, but every time, it’s just as hard. When you consider these men have families, and people that care about them...every human life is worth something. So you steel yourself to it and try not to think about it, but it’s never easy.”

“But it helps to talk about it, doesn’t it?”

“...It does.”

There are a few fleeting moments of silence.

“I missed having you around, Hubert.”

“I’ve missed that, too.”

“Let’s go back to the inn. We have be strong,” She turns to look at him. “For Malik’s sake, right?”

Hubert nods solemnly. “Of course.”


End file.
